And Just Like That

When my 9 year old son went off to kindergarten, I celebrated. I was so excited for him and to only be paying for one child in childcare. The first day of drop of went smoothly. There were no tears from either of us, it was pretty much a normal day. Fast forward 5 years later as I get ready to send my daughter to kindergarten and things feel different. I’m not sure if it’s because she’s my last baby to go off to kindergarten, or as I’ve gotten older these big changes affect me more, but whatever the reason I am not looking forward to kindergarten drop off as much this school year.

Now, don’t get me wrong I’m excited that both my kids will finally be in the same school (even if it is only for one year), and my daughter is so excited to embark on her new journey, and of course the extra money in my pocket book will be so nice, but this time just feels more raw. In fact my daughter’s last day of Montessori brought tears to both the teachers and myself. As, my daughter and I walked out of Renaissance Montessori for the last time this June I sat in my car and cried. My sweet little girl of course asked me why I was sad and as I explained it was because I was going to miss her school, all her friends, and of course the family feel of it all, she patted my back and said it’s okay Mom, I’m going to make so many new friends at my new school and it’s going to be so great! While reassuring that only made me cry harder. Both my children went to Renaissance and for the past 6 years it has been a huge part of our lives, so it really felt like the end of an era. Not only have the teachers there loved my kids and taught them so much, but the families we have met and made friends with will always hold a special place in our hearts. And I will never forget how the school took in my son during the school shut down during covid and on all those PIR days that I had to work.

I know that my daughter is so ready for this next step in her life, but I’m not sure if I am. When given the choice this summer whether she wanted to return to her beloved Montessori for the summer program or go to camp she immediately said camp. She was excited to be with her brother and start making new friends. And while I didn’t cry during camp drop off, I did have mixed feelings when she didn’t even give me a hug good by as she ran in and proudly announced her name and that she was there for her first day of camp.

This summer has gone by fast…but smooth and with both my kids being at the same place pick up and drop off has been less stressful for me. I also love hearing my kids talk about the fun things they have done and the encounters that they have with each other at camp. It warms my heart to know that my son is looking out for his little sister and that she truly does look up to him.

So, as school approaches, and the pit in my stomach gets a little larger, I know deep down that she will be more than okay, she will thrive. She will make new friends, have new stories, and she will have her big brother looking out for her always. That doesn’t mean it won’t be hard, and I’m sure I’ll shed a tear (as I try to hold myself together), but there will definitely be a celebration after the first day of kindergarten for my last baby.